The glass-half-empty view: The marketing wizards working for the Saudi General Entertainment Authority are still astonishingly bad at branding fight cards.

The glass-half-full view: Those marketing wizards are showing signs of incremental improvement.

Caveat to the glass-half-full view: There’s no place to go but up after you call a fight card “The Last Crescendo.”

Compared to The Last Crescendo – a collection of serviceable individual words that collectively added up to absolutely nothing – “Fatal Fury” may as well be “The Thrilla In Manila.”

But, still … Fatal Fury?

“Fatal,” meaning something that causes death? Not only are we starting with a terribly inappropriate word to use to hype up a fight card, but these two words together are empty.

Basically, we’ve combined two words that imply violence and are alliterative. And I guess it cross-promotes a video game by the same name.

But the term Fatal Fury tells us nothing about the two fight cards it’s being applied to this weekend, two-thirds of a high-volume pugilistic parade of major televised cards on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. (And don’t get me started on wondering what the part after the colon – “City of the Wolves” – has to do with any of the boxing.)

You want an alliterative tagline that actually tells you something about this weekend’s scheduled combat? How about “Tune-up Tornado”?

OK, maybe I’m not great at marketing fight cards, either.

Still, at least Tune-up Tornado would qualify as truth in advertising.

This is a loaded weekend in the sense that there are huge names, pound-for-pounders (past, present and maybe future), and fights emanating from a variety of venues and time zones. But most of these bouts are designed to set up bigger fights down the road. The betting odds at the top of each card this weekend are staggeringly lopsided.

There are nine 12-rounders across this weekend’s three major cards yet not a whole lot in the way of great matchups, or even good matchups, among them.

But even when we’re dealing with a mass of mediocrity (another rejected alliterative tagline for this weekend’s festivities), there’s fun to be had in parsing the degrees of mediocrity.

Put another way: Who doesn’t get fired up to rank stuff?

The weekend begins with a trio of 12-rounders from Times Square on Friday from DAZN Pay-Per-View, continues with a four-fight DAZN PPV card from Riyadh on Saturday and concludes with two title fights atop an ESPN-televised show from Las Vegas on Sunday.

That’s the order in which they’ll happen. Here’s the order in which I like them, starting at the bottom:

9. Saul “Canelo” Alvarez vs William Scull

The biggest fight of the weekend – Saturday’s main event – is also, on paper, the worst.

Can you recall any Canelo fight since he reached the championship level with less buzz than this one? It’s the perfect storm of the wrong matchup and the wrong location leading it to have none of the usual juice of an Alvarez fight on Cinco de Mayo weekend. It’s in Riyadh, nine hours ahead of Canelo’s native Guadalajara and a place where tequila is not allowed, and the super middleweight champ is a -4000 favorite at DraftKings. (Scull is a +1500 underdog.)

Throw in the fact that Scull often boxes in a defensive manner – meaning, he’s not likely to at least do us the favor of losing in thrilling fashion – and we have a fight that, despite Alvarez’s star power, is impossible to get up for.

This is effectively a tune-up for the worst-kept secret in boxing: Alvarez vs. Terence Crawford in September. As far as Canelo’s in-ring activities go, to misquote Billie Joe Armstrong, wake us up when September arrives.

8. Devin Haney vs Jose Ramirez

Three or four years ago, this fight on Friday’s card in Times Square would have been attractive enough to sit at or near the top of these rankings. But while Haney’s star has mostly continued to ascend, former 140lbs belt holder Ramirez is showing major signs of slippage at age 32.

And it’s reflected in the odds: Haney -1200, Ramirez +700. They’re not nearly as lopsided as Alvarez-Scull, but it’s still a fight in which everyone knows who’s supposed to win.

There’s some intrigue in it being Haney’s first fight back from the physical punishment he took against Ryan Garcia a year ago. But Haney-Ramirez is simply designed to be meat in a Garcia-Haney sandwich. Actually, that analogy doesn’t work, as the meat is usually the attraction for diners. Haney-Ramirez is more like a slice of bread between two pieces of meat.

The outdoor Times Square setting is intriguing (especially with Friday’s weather looking iffy), as is the return of Jim Lampley to the blow-by-blow position. But the fight itself? It’s mere marination for Garcia-Haney II. And marinated bread just ends up soggy.

7. Rafael Espinoza vs Edward Vazquez

Fighting in the co-main on ESPN Sunday, string-bean featherweight Espinoza is red-hot and always a threat to steal the show. The question is whether opponent Vazquez can drag a show-stealer out of him.

Vazquez, a +550 underdog to -900 favorite Espinoza (another mismatch, but at least the odds keep getting closer as we inch up this list), is a competent fighter whose only defeats have been a split decision to Raymond Ford and a majority decision to Joe Cordina. But he can’t pop at all: Among his 17 wins are just four by KO.

It will make a small statement if Espinoza becomes the first to stop Texas’ Vasquez – but only a small one. If the goal of this quasi-tune-up is to establish Espinoza as a possible future challenger to headliner Naoya Inoue, well, it may be a step on that path. But it’s going to take a lot more than battering the little-known Vazquez to convince people Espinoza is a threat to “The Monster.”

6. Bruno Surace vs Jaime Munguia II

The odds for this fight on Saturday’s Alvarez-Scull undercard happen to be exactly the same as the Espinoza-Vazquez fight: -900 and +550. But what makes it intriguing is that the guy who got knocked out in the sixth round of their first fight is the -900 fave.

Those odds suggest the 2024 Upset of the Year was a fluke, a case of Munguia taking Surace lightly and paying for it in a way that can’t possibly be replicated if Mexico’s Munguia is serious this time. And that may prove to be the case. But it’s a compelling set-up just the same.

Neither of these super middleweights is bound for greatness, and if Munguia does what he was expected to do the first time, it won’t be terribly memorable. But until we know for sure that France’s Surace doesn’t have his number, this one will have our attention.

5. Ryan Garcia vs Rolando “Rolly” Romero

Make it three fights in a row between -900 favorites and +550 underdogs.

Somewhat like Surace-Munguia II, Garcia-Romero – Friday’s main event – is a fight that’s easy to market and has a wide range of possible outcomes once the bell rings.

Garcia is a legit boxing star, albeit one who bent and broke rules to come into his last fight with advantages and who was suspended for a year as a result. Romero has established himself as a poor man’s Ricardo Mayorga, a B-side who can antagonize his opponents and help sell the fight.

Part of me wants to hate this fight up and down. But won’t it all have been worth it if either Garcia or Romero makes like a giant ball on New Year’s Eve and goes down for the count in Times Square?

The odds say this is yet another mismatch. It’s also a glorified tune-up for Garcia-Haney II. If it goes the distance, it will likely have been a waste of everyone’s time. But if someone gets flattened, whoever that someone is, at least half the boxing universe will be delighted.

4. Naoya Inoue vs Ramon Cardenas

On one hand, this Sunday main event is the worst mismatch of the weekend, according to the odds. At DraftKings, Inoue is -5000 and Cardenas is +1500. And at the sportsbook with the host network’s branding, ESPN Bet, it’s even worse, with Inoue a ridiculous -8000.

On the other hand … Naoya Inoue is fighting.

And before you ask, “Well, why are you excited about Inoue in a mismatch but not Canelo in a mismatch?” allow me to point out that Inoue has won his past 10 fights by knockout (whereas Alvarez hasn’t scored a knockout since 2021) and that this is The Monster’s first fight on US soil in four years.

Also, Cardenas isn’t bad. He’s 26-1. He beat an undefeated opponent his last time out. He’s not unworthy of a title shot. He’s just in way over his head with Inoue, as would be almost every junior featherweight alive.

Yep, this is yet another tune-up, as tentative plans are in place for Inoue to face Murodjon Akhmadaliev next and then Junto Nakatani. But considering we’d probably pay money to watch Inoue do jumping jacks, this is one tune-up for which we’ll happily tune in.

3. Badou Jack vs Noel Mikaelyan

Oops, somebody messed up and put an even-money fight on the schedule this weekend.

Mikaelian is a -135 favorite as he challenges for +110 underdog Jack’s cruiserweight alphabet belt, and even if that’s all this fight has to recommend it – uncertainty going in about who should win – that’s enough to position it toward the top of this list.

One big potential problem here is that Mikaelyan hasn’t fought in 18 months and Jack hasn’t in 26. So, this could be a rusty wreck on the Riyadh undercard. Or it could be two aging cruiserweights forgetting what defense is and whaling away on each other.

It’s tough to say what it will look like, but the good news is it’s hard to pick a winner and this isn’t just a keep-busy fight for either of them on the road to something bigger.

2. Martin Bakole vs Efe Ajabga

The vibe around the lone heavyweight bout of the weekend would have been completely different if Bakole hadn’t stepped in against Joseph Parker two months ago on two days’ notice and gotten splattered in two rounds. This would have been something of a showcase for Bakole on his march toward a major opportunity.

I have to say, I like it better this way. Now it feels like a real fight, with make-or-break stakes.

Bakole is still favored, but it’s not as lopsided as it would have been – he’s -425, and Ajagba is +310. In the Transnational Boxing Rankings Board’s ratings, Ajagba is the No. 8 contender to champ Oleksandr Usyk, and Bakole is right behind him at No. 9.

Losing to Parker took a lot of the shine off Bakole, but there was an asterisk affixed to the defeat, since the only road work the Congolese-Scotsman did in preparation spanned the distance from the buffet to the bathroom. Bakole can get most of that shine back if he scores a win over Ajagba. And that’s only an “if.” The outcome is not predetermined here, which distinguishes this one from most of this weekend’s competition.

1. Teofimo Lopez vs Arnold Barboza Jnr

At last we arrive at a fight that is competitive on paper and features elite talent.

The first of the three Times Square 12-rounders is much closer to toss-up than tune-up, with Lopez a modest -225 favorite against +180 ‘dog Barboza. Part of that is because you never know what you’re going to get with Lopez, who can dazzle against Vasiliy Lomachenko one night and fizzle against Sandor Martin the next. And part of it is because Barboza, fresh off a close win over Jack Catterall in Manchester, England, is a seriously skilled fighter.

Barboza has the movement, the jab and defensive wherewithal to bring out the worst in Lopez. Then again, the more success Barboza has, the more it may force out the best in Lopez – and as we’ve seen, Teofimo’s best is something special.

This is the first major fight of the weekend, and it has real potential to hold up at the end of Sunday night as the fight of the weekend.

Glass half full: What a way to kick things off.

Glass half empty: It’s all downhill from there.

Eric Raskin is a veteran boxing journalist with more than 25 years of experience covering the sport for such outlets as BoxingScene, ESPN, Grantland, Playboy, and The Ring (where he served as managing editor for seven years). He also co-hosted The HBO Boxing Podcast, Showtime Boxing with Raskin & Mulvaney, The Interim Champion Boxing Podcast with Raskin & Mulvaney, and Ring Theory. He has won three first-place writing awards from the BWAA, for his work with The Ring, Grantland, and HBO. Outside boxing, he is the senior editor of CasinoReports and the author of 2014’s The Moneymaker Effect. He can be reached on X, BlueSky, or LinkedIn, or via email at RaskinBoxing@yahoo.com.