Wanted: Event planner for a pre-fight party. Please note the wording – this is a pre-fight party, not your customary post-fight party. Rather than a clerical error, it is our preference, that’s all. The distinction is clear and, in this instance, there is no guarantee that a post-fight party will even be necessary. That is no admission of defeat, but instead a realistic view of what is set to take place before 90,000 fans at Wembley Stadium. Come midnight, chances are it will all be lost: the fight, the belt, the hope. By then, he will have received his goody bag, one stuffed full of lanyards, broken dreams, and a wedge of cash, but the party, for Daniel Dubois, will be well and truly over. There will be no after-fight party, in other words. Nor is it likely that anybody who attended the pre-fight party will be inclined to stick around and celebrate what they have just witnessed. Instead of that, they might take to social media to upload pictures and videos of themselves at the earlier pre-fight party, where everybody danced and said, “Good luck, Daniel,” and then under their breath: “You’ll probably need it.” They might even use social media to comment on the fight and criticise the man whose party they had that same afternoon attended. They might question his durability and his heart. They might question his focus. They might ring talkSPORT to ask: “Lads, was it really ideal for him to be partying before the fight?”
Proposal: Given this is not the first party of its kind, it will follow the same structure as before, only it will be greater in both size and scope. This time it seems inevitable that more people will attend because the fight is more prestigious than the last and the fighter involved – the one whose party you will be planning – is more famous now than he was when a pre-fight party was previously thrown in his name, back in September. This means more people want to hang around him now; hang on to him; take a piece of him. It means more people want to be seen around him and be seen to be involved in this fight, the biggest and toughest of his career. As a result, we will require a larger space than before and we must assume that this growing crowd of people will then follow Daniel to the stadium after the party, regardless of whether they have tickets or not. Note that this could cause delays and disruptions when it is time for the party to end and the fight to begin. Note that the fight cannot be forgotten. “I would like to change the word from party to gathering,” said Don Charles, Daniel’s trainer, so you should note that as well. In fact, can we now call this thing a gathering and not a party, please? It sounds less fun and ridiculous that way.
Requirements: You will have license here to be creative and to design a bespoke experience for Daniel on his big day. However, just be aware that whatever you have planned must be done with the ultimate goal of him winning a boxing match later that evening and that the space in which you have to work will be limited, full of both bodies and heavy bags – yes, heavy bags.
There are also some things his team deem essential in terms of getting Daniel in the right mood and frame of mind to fight the best boxer on the planet. You must, for instance, bring with you a 12-inch of the Cameo song “Candy” and be willing to lead the gatherers in dancing to this song just before finger food is served at three o’clock. It is, of course, a family favourite, this song, but that is not to say everybody invited to the party will be familiar with the steps, nor au fait with the song itself. Some guests will be younger than Daniel’s dad, the boss, and some won’t even be family. It is important therefore that they have a guide the moment the needle drops – and yes, it must be played on a record player – and everybody starts to get in line and limber up.
In addition to the music, perhaps a piñata shaped like Oleksandr Usyk, Daniel’s opponent, would be a good idea, for no reason other than to build Daniel’s confidence ahead of trying to hit the real thing at around ten o’clock. There should also be candy available, ideally in bowls, just so Daniel can spike his blood-sugar levels whenever he feels depleted from touring the room, grinning at strangers, or remembering what lies ahead. Never picky when it comes to sweets, our Daniel, I would propose either Jelly Babies or Wine Gums, though in the case of the latter I will first have to convince him that they contain no alcohol. Leave it with me.
Review: As we expected, all that was required in the end was a pre-fight party, not a post-fight one. Because of this you will be paid no more than what we agreed – in Saudi riyals, as stipulated in the contract – and should count yourself lucky to be getting paid anything. After all, the gathering was not only oversubscribed but, worse, we arrived late to the fight, far later than anticipated, and the publicity the gathering received has hardly been positive. Some have even gone so far as to call us “unprofessional” and suggested the gathering was one of the reasons why Daniel lost the fight.
In that there may be a kernel of truth, but we will only know for sure once we have launched an internal investigation and analysed every detail of the gathering. We will, for example, need to check the sweets you provided, as well as the chicken Kiev some guests said tasted a little “off”. We will also compare the two pre-fight parties – this most recent one and the one that preceded Daniel’s fight against Anthony Joshua – to determine why the two fight results were so different.
“This gathering is the same gathering which was used for the AJ fight-day preparation,” said Don Charles, absent from Saturday’s gathering. “A lot was made of Daniel’s ring walk for that fight – how enthusiastic and confident he looked – and people were praising him. To put logic to it, the father [Daniel’s father] mainly replicated the recipe that worked against AJ to hopefully get a victory last Saturday – and it didn’t work. Consequently, there is now a big highlight on this party, which was a gathering.”
Whether a party or gathering, all we really know is this: it wasn’t what we ordered and it certainly didn’t help Daniel prepare for the fight. In fact, there were claims, not yet confirmed, that Daniel was soon bored and that he even asked to go for a drive. “Daniel went for a drive, like you do,” Don Charles revealed. “He’s a fighter who’s fighting on that day. If he wanted to get some fresh air or whatever, it’s not unusual to say, ‘I’m going for a drive.’”
Yet, true as that may be, one can’t help thinking that all this scrutiny could have been avoided if the guests at the gathering were prohibited from taking photos and videos in the presence of Daniel that afternoon. As the planner, did it not at any point cross your mind to maybe confiscate phones once the gathering got underway? It was, lest we forget, designed to only be a private gathering; one for his family and friends; the people who truly love and care for him; the people who have his best interests at heart. This was never meant to be a gathering for the world, understand. It was, like all dumb things you will later regret, instead meant to be a secret, with secrecy the very thing that bound the complicit and ensured the blame fell squarely at the feet of the boy with all the gifts but no power. Sorry, Daniel.
Star rating: One star. Would not recommend.
